An Insult to my Truest Self

Re: Re: Re: HELP STACEY CHO

I appreciate the responses I have received from many of you, wanting to help with the unfortunate situation of our dear friend and fellow Sequoia Hall Resident, Stacey Cho. Many of you requested more “evidence” to prove that she is, in fact, in a very compromising situation from which we must SAVE her immediately. As time is a pressing issue, I hope that this will be the final correspondence necessary before action is taken and you all feel as strongly as I do about her cult activity.

I would first like to clarify that even though she won’t admit it, it is a cult. Not the shave-your-head-and-wear-a-cone kind. Those are thoroughly illegal as far as my knowledge is concerned. The one Stacey is involved in requires that its members have perfect hair, and the only cones they wear are on their chests.

I did some research on www.dictionary.com and found the following: “Cult n. (klt): An exclusive group of persons sharing an esoteric, usually artistic or intellectual interest.” So then I had to look up esoteric: “es·o·ter·ic adj. (s-trk): Intended for or understood by only a particular group: an esoteric cult.”

It might as well have just said it right there in the definition. Cult: An exclusive group of roommate-stealing, brain washing, half-dressed bimbos with an esoteric, usually sexual or alcoholic interest: Kappa Epsilon Theta. I, of course, submitted this suggestion to the esteemed writers of the dictionary via the “feedback and suggestion” link on the website, and am patiently awaiting a reply.

As residents of Sequoia Hall, and former friends of Stacey’s (before she started paying for them), I would like everyone to be reminded of what an amazing asset she was to our building and our lives before we lost her.

She showed up to every single student activity offered by the Sequoia Council, even after losing for Freshman Senator, and even if she was the only one who showed, which happened a lot, she would stay until it was scheduled to end, just in case someone else came in the last minute.

Even if she was often the root of our problem, and we yelled at her to stop eating crunchy food while the T.V. was on, or to at least wait until we left the room before she started vacuuming my side, she would listen to us calmly and constantly strive for approval and acceptance. She was always willing to leave the library on Friday or Saturday nights whenever any of us needed a sober driver, and she would even sleep in the lounge if we had “guests” spending the night.

So you can imagine when I came home from a party a few Tuesday nights ago, and Stacey was not home, my dismay. And this is when I first appealed to all of you to help get her back. Spread all over her bed was propaganda. “Join the eternal bond” and “Friendships that last a lifetime.” I don’t see how a) Stacey could believe any of this or b) why she would want any of that when she has us.

Stacey was an ideal resident and friend to all of us. And it is because of this that we must save her from such an academically and morally blinding organization, which will inevitably lead her to pregnancy or drug addiction.

Since her pledge period began three weeks ago, Stacey spends significantly less time in the library and has been seen fraternizing with muscular boys in the dining hall. She is easily distracted from our conversations by frequent phone calls, and has begun to emphasize any syllable that begins with an s: “I can’t eat an apple silently. Vacuum your half of the room yourself.” It’s like they gave her a class on how to talk like them.

The ritual ceremony in which she will retire her soul to the will of KET, or as all of her clothing will read after the branding, Κ Ε Γ, is scheduled to take place next week. This is dangerous for multiple reasons. First of all, I understand that Stacey is a Catholic, and therefore she will go to hell if she lets them tattoo her body with these symbols. And I am sure that after the ceremony Stacey will engage in underage drinking, which is illegal.

I would hate for my father, the Resident Dean of Sequoia Hall, to have to put Stacey on academic probation, or worse, to have to put her in prison. Sweet girls like Stacey Cho do not belong in jail, but neither do they belong in sororities.

My father has also recently inquired about the change in behavior of Stacey Cho since she allegedly filed a request to change living arrangements. I obviously informed him that she has been under a spell of bad judgment and he said he would not take action just yet as long as we resolve the issue. I initially wondered if this was my father’s way of getting me to move back upstairs into my old room since he knew “all that garbage” that happens downstairs, but I don’t think so. He’s the one who selected Stacey Cho as my roommate because of her excellent grades and extracurricular involvement. He thought she would be a positive influence, but little does he know that Stacey is well on her way to ruining all of this.

As many of you know, my father is a very powerful man and if you don’t do something, he will have to. One time, when I was accidentally rejected from the University, my father just made one phone call and they immediately realized their mistake. He is very good at things of this nature, but I’m sure Stacey would prefer to get help from us since he can sometimes be a little harsh, and she is a sensitive girl.

I don’t recommend further pursuing Stacey’s opinions about any of this, because I’m sure she failed to tell you that when KET gave her a bid, it was accompanied by a script, and she has memorized the section that provides all of the appropriate answers to any questions that have ever existed about her cult. Only three weeks after receiving the script, she already answers questions like a machine:

“Why did you join a cult, Stacey?”

“It’s not a cult, it’s a sisterhood and a lifelong bond.”

“Are there rules that you must always keep nice hygiene and wear pretty clothes?

“My sorority isn’t like that. We’re different.”

I know that her performance is convincing, but trust me when I say that this new lifestyle does not satisfy Stacey.

If she truly thought that being in a sorority were the right thing for a person to do, she would not have been so happy that I did not get a bid to pledge KET. Clearly, she was happy that I would not have to suffer the evils of a sorority, so it is beyond my comprehension as to why she herself would accept a bid, especially when the only reason she even rushed was because of the fliers they gave me, that she had sprawled out all over her bed. As her roommate, I did not appreciate that she would steal these materials from the floor on my side of the room. Vacuuming it does not entitle her to read the things I leave on it. I know that if she would have just minded her own business, and left the pamphlets where I had put them, I would not be writing this right now.

But even though Stacey Cho brought this upon herself, she still deserves our help. I realize now that she, too, helped me, when she met with some of the “sisters” and explained to them why I was not right for the sorority. I found out about this when I received a phone call informing me that I should no longer attend the rush activities as my rushing status had been terminated. I am very grateful that Stacey did this for me, because otherwise I may have never realized what an evil organization it is, and we must do the same for Stacey Cho. She is so selfless that while she was helping me, she didn’t even think of herself, and her own disaffiliation. And that is her truest self, putting the needs of everyone else first, and trying to always do what is right.

But the point is, Stacey obviously knows that cults are stupid, because she intervened and saved me from making a horrible mistake. If only you could have seen the smile on her face when I told her I wouldn’t be pledging after all (the “sisters” asked me to please not tell her that I knew that she had talked to them about me. This is because Stacey is so modest and did not want me to know that she had saved my life), you would know that this is not what the real Stacey Cho would want for herself, before her mind was abducted.

It is our duty to bring her back. It is our duty to do for her what she did for me, to remind her of her truest self, and to help her retrieve it.

This final installment of my plea has, I hope, provided you with uncontestable evidence that action must be taken immediately, and I look forward to working with you all.

Thank you in advance for your help,

Megan Fitzpatrick